CAAATS!

I play a lot of video games. Especially third-person action titles like Prince of Persia and Devil May Cry. And one move that seems to have gotten popular lately in action titles is the wall run.

The first time I ever saw a wall run was in the Matrix back in ’99. Watching Keanu own a pack of anonymous guards while bending the laws of physics was a blast, and it’s great to get to act it out in games.

It’s also great seeing Olive do it in real life. That’s right. Olive does wall runs in real life. She usually uses them to get the upper hand on Hazel while in pursuit. They seem to happen a little more frequently when company is over and she’s trying to show off. I’m not sure where she could have picked it up from, other than watching me play video games.

I can’t help but feel like I’ve failed a little as a parent. Violent video games ruined my kid. Er, cat. You get the idea.

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And so, Olive made off with the leprechaun’s gold, never to return. Strapped for cash, the leprechaun agreed to star in a horror film, and the career of Jennifer Aniston was launched. Many sequels would be made, one of which would take place in outer space, and two more in “the hood.”

But enough about that. So what is it about St Patrick’s day anyway? It’s one of those strange holidays in which an entire work day can pass without any mention of said holiday, but once the sun sets, people start downing green beer, beating each other senseless and step-dancing on top of tables. “Everyone’s Irish tonight! Let’s dance, drink and fight!”

It’s kind of a scary holiday when you think about it. I may stay in with my wife and the cats where it’s safe. Strike that. I’ll be on my way to Chicago for C2E2. It should be a blast. Maybe I’ll see you there!

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I tell ya, these cats are just out of control sometimes. They fight, they claw furniture, they try to make off with your dinner when you’re not looking. So what do you do? How do you put your foot down?

Well, I’m not really sure. I hate disciplining the cats because they’re cute. I can’t yell at them – that would be mean. I’ve heard that a little spritz from a spray bottle works, but even that seems cruel to me.

Lucky for me, Hazel seems to step in and be the parent to Olive more often than not. She’s not afraid to growl and give a nice boink on the head when Olive decides to be bad. Thanks, Hazel. You make this parenting thing so much easier for me.

Now what do I do when Hazel is bad? Man, this cat thing is hard!

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